Happy Punday!

Happy Punday! 
-Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
-I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
-How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
-I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
-This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
-I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
-I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
-They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
-PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
-We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
-I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
-Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job 
because she couldn't control her pupils?
-When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
-Broken pencils are pointless.
-What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? 
A thesaurus.
-England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
-I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
-All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
-I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
-Velcro — what a rip off!
-Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
-Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
(From Scott Hahn, courtesy of Kimberly Hahn)